Yep, that’s what I called you before you started to come to my room at night to lay with me in your drunken stupor. At the age of four you taught me to fear your name and what the worst kind of pain is….the pain of being molested by my own father. You also taught me I never mattered to you. You never loved me, you never cared about me, and you emphasized that point every time you came into my room. And I know that you planned ahead of time what you were going to do because you would shut my door in hopes no one else would hear your evil.
The lies you whispered to me were manufactured to make sure I never told your secrets and your efforts paid off. You used me for years only to discard me when I go too old to excite you. What kind of man gets off looking at a child? What kind of pervert are you to rape your own daughter? You have a sick mind and you never deserved to be a father. It makes me sick to even think about you. I hate you because of what you did to me. You succeeded in not only terrorizing my childhood but also my adult life. But I am not even going to go into all of how I keep reaping the evil you have sown into my life. You don’t deserve to know anything about my life.
But, I will say that you never protected me from life….the most minimum requirement of being a father. You subjected me to terror EVERY DAY of my childhood. Even after you threw me aside you couldn’t muster the effort to be a caring dad. Yes, you came to my games but you never held me when I cried. Yes, you punished me when I didn’t reach a certain grade but you never helped me with my homework. To actually have a conversation with me was too much of an effort for you. If you had thrown me any small amount of love I would have caught it. But, no, I wasn’t worthy of the effort.
I used to wish you would be haunted in your dreams by what you did to me. But then I realized they wouldn’t be haunting to you. They would be pleasurable. How sick you are. I cannot imagine a lower creature on this earth than a man that is sexually aroused by is four year old daughter.
I know what your penis looks like…to this day I have that picture in my head. I hate you for that. I hate you because I can never get that out of my head. It is burned into my skin and unfortunately my soul. No daughter should have to live with that. You gave me a death sentence when you did what you did to me. Touching me where you did, telling me it was for me. Lies Lies Lies.
You had many opportunities to stop. You had many choices along the way and kept making the evil one. When I screamed and cried for you not to take me in the car you could have seen and heard my pain but you chose to ignore my dying and instead think about your dick. I hate you for that.
I have thoughts of truly dancing on your grave when you die. Instead of flowers I will come to desecrate your grave by writing in large permanent marker over your name: Child Molester. Sid _____, The Child Molester.
Did you know that a child molester has the exact same personality as a serial killer? Yea, you achieve to high standards dad. 89% of child sexual assault cases involve persons known to the child, such as a caretaker or family acquaintance. 1/3 of all prisoners convicted of sexual assault molested their own child. Looks like you have a lot of company dad. 3/4 of the violent victimizations of children took place in the victim’s home. Research shows that the most common sexual offender is the father. That is the real Sid ____. You are a disgrace to the human race. Just think, if the truth were known, no one would want to be around you….except your sick wife who chooses you the perpetrator over the victim. You disgust me and I hate you. I hate you and your life.
You are living a shell of a life because you fear being the real you. You know the real Sid _____ would be hated by all. So, you have to put up a careful front to keep hidden your true self. The only person you can never hide it from, other than me, is yourself. You know what a truly rotten person you are. You know you deserve to rot in hell.
**this letter will be sent at a later date. whenever I am ready.